What to Expect When You Get Hemorrhoids (Besides a Whole Lotta Googling)
Welcome to the awkward corner of the internet you didn’t think you’d end up in—but here you are, and hey, we’re glad you made it.
So, your butt’s acting up. Maybe there’s blood on the toilet paper. Maybe it feels like you’re sitting on a tiny angry balloon. Maybe you’re just trying to figure out if you need a doctor or a priest. Spoiler: it’s probably hemorrhoids—and no, you’re not dying.
Let’s talk about what to expect when you get hemorrhoids, in plain terms, with zero shame and just the right amount of butt humor. We are Bummed, after all.
First Off: What Even Are Hemorrhoids?
In the simplest terms: hemorrhoids are swollen veins in your rectum or anus. They’re like varicose veins, but way more annoying and in a much more private zip code.
There are two main types:
- Internal hemorrhoids, which hang out inside your rectum and usually aren’t painful but may cause bleeding.
- External hemorrhoids, which develop under the skin around your anus and can be itchy, painful, and even bleed.
They’re incredibly common—like 3-out-of-4-people-will-get-them common. That includes your neighbor, your barista, and probably someone in your group chat.
How Do You Know It's Hemorrhoids?
Here’s what to expect symptom-wise:
- Bright red blood when you wipe
- Itching or irritation around your anus
- Pain or discomfort, especially while sitting
- A bump or lump you can feel
- A “full” feeling, like you didn’t quite finish going
If any of that sounds familiar: yep, hemorrhoids. Welcome to the club. We don’t have jackets, but we do have sitz baths.
The Emotional Rollercoaster: You, Hemorrhoids, and Dr. Google
Most people start their hemorrhoid journey with a frantic search like, “bright red blood toilet cancer??” Relax. Take a breath. You’re likely dealing with something uncomfortable but treatable.
It’s okay to feel embarrassed. But know this: you’re not gross, you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not doomed. We do want to get you feeling better, faster.
So What Happens Next?
1. You Might Freak Out. (That’s Normal)
The first time you spot blood or feel a lump, panic is a perfectly normal reaction. But hemorrhoids are rarely serious, and they’re very manageable.
2. You Might Avoid Pooping (But Please Don’t)
Many folks get so anxious about the pain that they try to avoid bowel movements altogether. This only makes things worse. Straining, constipation, and sitting on the toilet for too long (hi, TikTok scrollers) are all common causes and aggravators of hemorrhoids.
Bummed Tip: Keep things moving with fiber, hydration, and regular bathroom habits. Your butt will thank you. If it takes more than a couple minutes to go, try again later.
3. You’ll Try All the Things
Sitz baths. Witch hazel pads. Creams. Cushions. Googling “is it normal to cry on the toilet?” You’ll experiment with what helps. That’s okay. Relief is out there (and spoiler: we make some of it).
Bummed products are doctor-formulated, prescription-backed, and made for people who don’t want to feel like they’re shopping in their grandpa’s medicine cabinet.
4. Sometimes, You’ll Need a Doctor
If your symptoms last more than a week, get worse, or include heavy bleeding—check in with your doctor. Don’t worry—they’ve seen a lot of butts. Yours won’t be the one that shocks them.
Our medical providers at Bummed are specially trained in hemorrhoids and anorectal care. In most states, you won’t even need to speak to someone face to face, you can simply message with our providers who will get you the care you need.
Can You Prevent This From Happening Again?
Yes, absolutely. Prevention is all about taking care of your butt like you would any other body part. Here’s how:
- Eat fiber-rich foods (fruits, veggies, whole grains) and take fiber supplements
- Stay hydrated
- Don’t sit too long on the toilet (that means no doomscrolling)
- Exercise regularly
- Poop when you need to—not when it’s convenient
If you are having trouble pooping, because constipation is what commonly leads to hemorrhoids, then we have prescription solutions to get you back on track in the pooping department.
TL;DR: Hemorrhoids Happen—But You’ve Got This
Getting hemorrhoids might feel like a punchline at first, but they’re normal, manageable, and definitely not a life sentence. With the right care, they often go away on their own. And if they don’t? You’ve got options.
Whether it’s your first flare-up or your fiftieth, we’ve got your back with prescription solutions, real talk, and a lot less embarrassment. Not sure what you need? Take our Bummed symptoms quiz.
Bottom line: You are not alone. Your butt is not broken. And you’re definitely not gross.
You’re just a human with a hemorrhoid. And we’re here for that.
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Bummed content is for general education and should never replace professional medical advice that considers your individual health. If you think you’re experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or head to the nearest emergency department.
